Another twist of the knife
by JamesTheProngsPotter
Summary: Being told you're "just friends" is difficult enough at the best of times without having to hear it from the one girl you've resigned yourself to pine after forever. It's all just another twist of the knife, isn't it? James Potter drabble/ONESHOT. Complete.


**Note:** All characters are the property of J.K. Rowling, these words are my own. Enjoy!

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><p><strong>Another twist of the knife<strong>

**By JamesTheProngsPotter**

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><p>Emptiness… the very last feeling he had hoped for, though he'd known deep down that it was waiting right around the corner for him. It usually was, right beneath those deep emerald eyes that he loved so much. Maybe it wasn't emptiness. Something couldn't be empty if there was a knife in it after all. Nice and deep and twisted a little to the side just for good measure. Wouldn't want that feeling to go away any time soon would we?<p>

He almost preferred the yelling, the insults, and the promises that the Giant Squid would be a far better matched partner than the toe rag. The soft voice, the way her eyes had bored into his were surprisingly a lot more painful – another twist of the knife. She'd said it so easily, like it should have been obvious and he should have known better

But really, he _should _have known better.

Isn't that what he told himself every single damn time? You should have known better, you should have known. You should have…done anything else. He didn't just test the waters, not like a normal, sane human being would. No, it was all or nothing. He only dealt in extremes after all. James Potter either hated you or he loved you and there's just no point in hating someone you love.

Asking her immaturely hadn't worked too well for him in the past but apparently neither had the change in tact. There'd been something new in her facial expression today though, something he'd never seen before that had flitted across her pale complexion for one horrible moment. Pity. And he hated it.

"Potter… Oh, James… I'm sorry."

He'd begun to feel the point of the knife right there, the small droplets of blood beading on his skin.

"You know I think you're amazing, don't you? You've done so much for me this past year – "

_Don't say it. For the love of god Evans, don't say it. Roll your eyes, turn away, laugh it off – anything but this. Please._

"– but I just don't see you like that."

And she thrust it in, right down to the hilt while she stared at him all the while with those beautiful eyes of hers.

He had to snap out of it, he had to move on. This whole thing is so bloody mental as Sirius ever-so-gently reminded him of again and again. So why couldn't he? Why couldn't he just forget about her and move on to the string of other girls he knew he could chase after without too much effort? The endless rejections would be a thing of the past, the brave face, the bravado put on to hide the hurt would all be gone. He could have practically anyone he wanted, everyone except one.

Sinking into his favourite armchair by the fireplace, James braced his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his open palms. This had to stop, it was tearing him up inside and he knew it. The soft crackling of the small fire in the grate filled his ears, drowning out the cheerful chatter of the other Gryffindors milling about the common room, avoiding him entirely. They knew better than to talk to him now of course, this wasn't exactly the first time James had found himself in this position - with his head in his hands and his shoulders drooped hopelessly - though he couldn't help but cringe at the pathetic figure he must look right now.

This was it, he had to decide for himself that enough was enough. Lily Evans wasn't everything. His world didn't, couldn't, revolve around her. He'd move on and he'd be far happier for it, things could only look up from here.

Nodding his head and allowing his slender fingers to thread their way through his messy hair in a familiar gesture, he steeled him enough to set his jaw and look up. As he did, his hazel eyes were drawn - as they always were - to a thin red headed figure standing by the Girls' Dormitory Staircase. Her eyes were alight with bubbling laughter and the corners of her lips were turned up softly as she conversed animatedly with Marlene McKinnon and James knew, in that exact moment, that he would simply never be able to let her go

There was nothing for it, James Potter had unequivocally falling in lo… _like _with Lily Evans. 

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><p><strong>AN:** I hope you enjoyed my little James drabble. It's been a little while since I've written anything substantial (Other than essays, which we simply shall not venture to discuss. Horrid things.)

Please review and favourite if you enjoyed it! All your support will be much appreciated!

~ Prongs


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